Oh how our lives have changed. We don't go to movies anymore, we can't just drop everything and run errands, we don't sit and watch hours of T.V. each night.
And I wouldn't change a thing! Now we spend weekends curled up on the floor playing with Camber. Instead of hours watching T.V. we go days without even turning it on, watching Camber instead.
I have learned so much in the last year; I have changed!
I used to be a major planner. I would have plan A, B, and C. Don't get me wrong, I still like to have a plan, but Camber has taught me that I just need to take it as it comes, because I can't be in control of everything. And try as I might, I can not control Camber. If I make plans, thinking he will do something specific, such as take an hour nap, then he would sleep for 2 hours (or 30 minutes). He has really gotten on a great schedule now, but he still does his own thing.
When I was pregnant I read EVERYthing possible. I read blogs, magazine, and books about labor and delivery. I was fully prepared. I took classes, talked to others, and read, read, read. And then nothing went the way it was supposed to. I read and read about nursing and then we dealt with not nursing right away because of the NICU, and then Camber having tongue and lip ties. I read books and books about caring for babies.
And none of it related to Camber. Everything the books said should happen didn't. "Babies get their two bottom teeth first, between 4-7 months." Not if your name is Camber: he gets four top teeth and two bottom teeth all at the same time when he is 11 months old. "Babies are supposed to start sleeping through the night at 6 months." Not Camber. "Newborns sleep all the time. Maybe in a bassinet, swing, or bouncy seat." Not Camber. He slept in someone's arms for the first three months. And it wasn't for lack of trying!
People didn't understand, people didn't get it, but that is ok. We know Camber is amazing and awesome! He may do things his own way. He is determined, smart, and lovable!
Looking back, if I could do it all over again, I would have held him more and worried and complained less. I would sit and snuggle him, kiss his soft little head, and breathe in his baby scent. I wouldn't worry about every little thing, knowing it will all work itself out. I wouldn't complain about having to hold him for every nap or get up during the night to feed him.
Looking forward, I don't plan to read another single book about raising kids. I am just going to figure it out as we go!
So my advice for new moms:
-Relax. Don't worry about things so much. Go places, do things, enjoy it as best as you can. Know that the days are long, but the years are short! It's ok to hate it some days! It's ok to cry.
-Read what you can. And then take it all with a grain of salt. Know that your baby isn't going to read those same books, so they may not do anything the books say. There is nothing you can do about it. It will all be ok!
-Ask for help. It is ok to reach out. Even to complete strangers, people you met on a Facebook group that have similar stories. Find support groups. Talk. Playdates aren't for the newborn babies, they are for the mamas!
-Don't worry about showering. You'll be able to shower when they are older. :-)
-Don't worry if your baby doesn't do what your friends' babies are doing. They aren't going to sleep the same, eat the same, or play the same. It's great to have friends to ask questions to, but try not to compare.
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| Lauren Campbell Photography |
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| Mandy Smith Photograpy |
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