This week I received a letter from a friend. Doug had gone to get the mail before work one morning and in the quick rush of our morning routine I recognized a familiar handwriting. I opened the envelop to see a long letter and automatically began reading. Within just a few paragraphs my eyes were full and because of the blur I had to stop reading.
As I read I had to stop many times to brush the tears from my eyes, all the while anxious to read the next words. This letter was full of emotion, eloquent writing, and love. I am so grateful for friends to travel down this journey of motherhood with and this letter was a reminder of that.
This letter... reminded me that motherhood is a journey and not a test or one-shot deal. There is not a book of rules or "The Answer," although some days we wish there was. There are so many different ways to "do" this journey! Sometimes I find myself worried that I am not doing what the rules say. But this letter reminded me that I am doing what's right, because it is working for us. So many people have an opinion about everything: how long he should be breastfed, how often he should eat, when and where he should sleep, when we should start solid foods, etc., etc., etc.
As a new mom I haven't done things the way I thought I would. Some examples I have already talked about in this
blog post. And each day and each new development I seem to handle differently than I originally thought I would. I always get a little nervous, searching the internet for the "right" way to do something and then I always go with my instincts. Sometimes I don't listen to that little voice early enough, but even in just four short months, I have learned that that little voice doesn't steer me wrong.
From Camber's tongue and lip tie, to sleeping, to eating I have learned that my mama instincts are right and that Doug and I know him best. And so no matter what others think, we will make the best decision that we can. That doesn't mean we don't want to hear how other people are doing it or that I won't scour the internet for some advice, or even that we won't do it wrong sometimes. It just means that at that particular time we are choosing what we feel is best.
This letter.... reminded me that so many prayers were said for our little guy, even before he came. This friend, and so many other friends and family were saying prayers and "silent wishes" for a easy delivery, healthy baby, and successful nursing. We didn't get all those things, but it's ok, because it's our journey. It makes our relationship the way it is today, and even though parts of that experience are really hard, parts of it I am still working through, I know that without those parts we wouldn't be where we are today. I also find myself making those same prayers, those same silent wishes as I hear about other friends getting ready to start (or continue) in this journey of motherhood.
This letter.....reminded me that time is precious and to enjoy the little things. To soak up every small accomplishment. The first time he grabs a toy, recognizes himself in the mirror, or giggles. They may seem like such small things, but they are worth the time to sit and enjoy, because before you know it that phase is over and their on to something else.
This letter....reminded me that I have amazing friends, "sisters," "real-life lifelines" to call on when things get tough. When I want to say "I hate this," or "I can't do this." I know that I won't be judged or criticized, because we are all mamas in the same boat. All trying to do the very best with what we know. We may all do it differently and that is ok because we can all offer perspective from our experiences. I also know that I can call to say, "I love him, every single thing about him, every single dirty diaper! I LOVE being a mama!"
So friend,
You may have no idea how deep you touched me with the simple act of writing a letter, but it was with
this letter that I felt loved and supported. I truly have amazing friends, new and old, and this gift of motherhood is one I wouldn't want to share with anyone else!
As we get ready to celebrate Mother's Day next week I am grateful. I am grateful to have joined the Mama Club, grateful for such great mamas to both Doug and I (some that are here and some that watch from above). So give all those mamas around you a big hug, they deserve it!
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| Camber's first Easter |
